My Name Is Elisa
by Wolves and Winter
Summary: Jamie Bennett is now 17. Since he was 10, he's been feeling like there's something wrong with him being a boy. A book he buys gives him all the answers. It all starts with his sister, and then, as he struggles to cope with the transphobia, he finds the name he knows he'll love being called forever. Elisa. This is her story.
1. Chapter 1

Jamie was staring down at his book. He'd got it from the local bookshop a few weeks ago. It was the answer to what he was feeling deep inside, and how he could let it flourish. He'd read it, and...it gave so much information. What was happening, how perfectly normal it was, how he could come out...everything.

But a sudden feeling of dread began building up in the pit of his stomach. Maybe this wasn't the answer. Maybe it was only what he wanted to hear, when in reality, this feeling was nonexistent. Maybe-

"Jamie! Jamie I wanna play!"

Sophie burst in. Jamie's eyes widened. He'd been able to hear her footsteps far away enough for him to hide it, so why hadn't he heard earlier?

He looked around, desperate to find a hiding place for it. "Go away Sophie," he snapped. Usually this would deter her from spending time with him, but today, that just wasn't the case. The blonde climbed up onto his bed. "Whatcha reading?"

"I-nothing," Jamie lied, holding his treasured possession to his chest. "Don't lie to me! Give it! I wanna see!" Sophie began to pull it from his hands. Panicking inwardly, Jamie pulled it towards him. The two were soon engaged in a tug of war, and just when Jamie was about to win, the book went flying across the room and landed, open on the page he was reading.

"Ooh!" Sophie ran over.

"No! Sophie don't!" Jamie exclaimed. He winced as she began reading. Then, slowly, she looked up. "I don't understand," she said. "Why do you-"

Jamie began to cry. His body racked with sobs. Sophie didn't know what to do. She'd never seen her big brother cry before, but she was determined to make him stop. She ran over and sat next to him on the bed.

"What?" Jamie asked harshly, looking at her.

She did what her mother always did when she was upset. She hugged Jamie, and said, "it's OK. It'll get better, I promise."

Jamie looked down at his younger sister. She was already aware of the fact he was crying, and she was trying to help him. It was comforting, and he hugged back.

"Thanks Sophie."

Sophie then smiled and pulled away. "I wanna tell you something Jamie."

"What's that?" Jamie asked, turning to her. He felt bad for shouting at her earlier, and wanted to make up for his actions. Her face went all serious and that now familiar dread was building up again, making him nauseous. Then, she said something which made him nearly fall off the bed in shock.

"I'm gonna tell you what it's like to be a girl."

Restraining himself from bouncing up and down in excitement, Jamie merely nodded. "Go on."

So Sophie did. Everything, from what he could wear to the private stuff.

"I know a lot about that already," Jamie said. Periods seemed painful. However, since learning about it, he'd always wanted to have one. He thought he was strange, but the book reassured him otherwise.

"Jamie..."

"Yes?"

"Can we read this together? I wanna learn more about this."

"Sure," Jamie said. He watched as Sophie got to her feet, ran to the book, and then back to the bed, holding the secret Jamie had kept for three weeks. Eagerly, Sophie sat next to Jamie, legs hanging off the bed, twiddling.

"So, where do we start?" she asked.

"Here," Jamie pointed. Then, being the good big brother (sister) he was, he began to read to Sophie, like old times, when he didn't have to worry about this thing called secondary school.

Half an hour in and, in turn, the Bennett siblings had read fifteen pages so far. Sophie was fascinated, and Jamie was overjoyed that she accepted him (her) for who he was. Then, Jamie yawned. "Alright, enough for today," he said, closing the book.

"Jamie..."

"Yep?" Jamie asked, removing some books from his bookshelf to make space for the large book.

"I'm gonna keep this between us."

Jamie turned and faced his younger sister. Tears welling up in his eyes, he pulled her into a tight hug.

"Thank you."

Sophie smiled widely and hugged back. "You're my sister, why would I not accept you?"

Jamie pulled back and stared at her. Smiling, Sophie began to tear up. "I love you," she said. She cried of happiness, hugging him, and Jamie hugged her again for the third time this hour.

Then, Sophie said, wiping tears from her eyes, "I need to go now and do homework. Bye, uh..."

"I'll think of one, don't worry," Jamie assured her. "But for now, just call me Jamie."

Sophie nodded, smiling before walking out his room.

Jamie felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Relieved, he collapsed onto his bed, grinning to himself, staring at his ceiling.

He was going to tell his friends tomorrow, and hopefully, they'd accept him too.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Jamie and Claude were talking about the senior play.

"I mean, I wanna do it but...she doesn't think I'm a good actor, you know? I just wish I could show her what I can do," Jamie said.

"You can, you're a fantastic actor Jamie," Claude grinned.

"You can talk," Jamie said, slightly elbowing him.

Claude was an amazing actor. Any part he got he threw his whole into playing it, even if it was one line, or just the background, but because of his enthusiasm, Claude had gained the main part in the musical Hairspray. He also had a great singing voice, which Jamie found slightly annoying, as he was singing all the time. Even his humming was on point. Then, he realised. This was the time he needed to tell him.

"Claude..."

"Yep?" Claude was putting his stuff in his locker.

"If I changed, would you mind?"

Claude turned to him. "Of course not, Jamie! I'd support you. Why, is there something you need to tell me?"

Just as Jamie opened his mouth, Pippa walked up. He closed it.

"Hey guys, what's up?" He saw Claude's face. "Oh, is this private?"

"No, no, I want you to know too." Jamie sighed, looking at them. "This is...this is..."

"Jamie?" Pippa placed an arm on his, concerned.

"Let's go to the bike shed," Claude suggested. "No one really ever hangs there."

"Alright," Jamie said weakly, taking in a shaky breath. He had been so sure about this yesterday, but was he really ready?

When they got to the bike shed, Jamie leant on of the bikes. He tried to appear relaxed, but with Claude and Pippa looking at him expectantly, he felt kind of pressured. This was his choice, though, so he had to do it.

"I want to be a girl."

First, Claude looked at him, confused. Then, Pippa explained to him.

"Oh! Right. Yep, that's cool." Pippa just grinned widely and pulled Jamie into a hug. Jamie pulled Claude into it too, and soon they were all hugging.

Little did they know that their physics teacher, Mr Jan, had heard this.

With a frown, he walked in. "And what do you think you're doing in here?" he asked firmly.

"Nothing," Pippa said, breaking the hug.

"You three shouldn't be in here. Get out now."

Claude led them out. Before Jamie went out, Mr Jan grabbed his arm, hard.

"And don't think I'll accept you as a girl Mr Bennett."

With that, he let go and walked off.

Jamie stared as he went inside.

"Jamie? What did he say to you?" Claude asked.

"Nothing," Jamie said, but he gulped. If their physics teacher was like this, then how would the Headmistress react if she found out?

Fearful, Jamie walked away, and Pippa and Claude walked after him. They both looked at each other.

He'd said nothing was up, but from the loss of colour on his face, both knew it couldn't be good.

When Jamie got home, he saw Sophie looking at him. "Jamie, what happened? You didn't talk to me on the way home."

"Leave it Sophie," he said, pushing past her.

"Jamie."

"What?" Jamie turned sharply to her, suddenly angry. Usually she'd get scared, but this time, she was being courageous. She was being brave.

"Did you come out to your friends?"

He sighed, nodding and going back down the stairs. He held the rail, looking at her.

"They were fine with it, but...Mr Jan wasn't."

"He heard?" Sophie asked. Tears welled up in Jamie's eyes.

"Oh Jamie," she whispered, pulling him into a hug. Jamie sobbed and then, a cheery voice came as the door was unlocked.

"Hello everyone!" Their mum frowned. "Jamie?"

"Mum, I -" Should he tell her?

"Mr Jan is being mean to him," Sophie said. Her mum furrowed her brows.

"That's not good." She took Jamie's hand. "Tell me upstairs." She led him upstairs and Sophie stayed downstairs, knowing that this talk was going to be private. She went to the kitchen and closed her eyes. Her hands balled into fists and she slammed them onto the worktop, sighing irritably. If her parents didn't accept him, then who knew what would happen?

"Mum, I..."

Her mum clutched his hand. "I'm ready when you are, sweetheart."

"I...I want to be a girl."

A pause. Then, she whispered, "you do?"

Jamie nodded. "I know Dad wants me to be the perfect boy but..." he looked away, suddenly feeling ashamed. "I feel like a girl stuck in a boy's body." He looked back at his mum. "Mom...do you..do..."

His mum nodded, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Yes! Oh my gosh yes!"

She hugged him tightly. "I love you sweetheart."

Jamie smiled. "I love you too Mom," he said.

They stayed like that for a while before his mum pulled away, looking at him, hands on his shoulders.

"Oh...darling." She hugged him again gently before letting go.

"Mom? Can we go visit Dad tomorrow?"

"Well, it will be Saturday, so...yes, we will."

"Mom! I've finished!" Sophie called, running upstairs. She saw Jamie smiling at her. Sophie grinned back, then turned to her mum. "I've done my history assessment."

"I'll look at it now." Her mum went downstairs and Jamie grinned at her.

"It's all good?"

"Yep. All good."

"Good."

The Bennett siblings looked at each other for a moment, then burst out laughing, laughing so much they were grabbing one another's hands in order to stay upright.

"This is amazing! Do you think Jack will be OK about it?"

"Sure, why not?" Sophie said. Then, she saw Jamie's face. "Do you want me to tell him?" she asked quietly.

"Maybe later. But yes, I do, if you don't mind. I think...it might be awkward if I tell him."

Sophie nodded, then smiled reassuringly at her older brother (sister). "Don't worry sis. You'll get through it," she smiled.

She left the room, and suddenly, Jamie wasn't feeling so sure. Was it right of him that he told his friends? How would he cope in physics? He sighed, looking down at the ground. There were going to be a lot of questions to answer about this.


End file.
